More stunning Mark Foley revelations!

a little office humor I wrote... not to pile on, of course.
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Foley Was Imprisoned, Hit With Sticks As Child

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (AP) -- An attorney for disgraced Rep. Mark Foley (R-Fla.) today revealed that, in addition to suffering from alcoholism and having been molested by a priest as a child, Foley was routinely beaten by his father and kept in a basement closet for the first nine years of his life.

"Mr. Foley did not see daylight until he physically outgrew the closet and had to be removed," lawyer David Roth said. "For so many long years, he would see another human being only when his dad went down there to get a power drill or give him a sandwich."

Roth also said that Foley was addicted to prescription drugs, that his parents were practicing satanists, that he suffered from multiple-personality disorder, that he was often dressed in girl's clothes such as bonnets and plaid frocks, and was made to participate in sexual orgies involving large groups of people.

"As a small child, it's quite possible that he was fondled by as many as 30 people at a time, many of them wearing masks and carrying sticks," Roth said. "Just whole rooms full of people fondling and whacking him and laughing at his bonnet."

Foley sought professional counseling for his mental disorders in 1998, Roth said. But in a startling turn, the congressman's psychotherapist also fondled and beat him and forced him to smoke "crack" cocaine while viewing pornography.

"There was no refuge for Mark Foley on this earth," Roth said.